Dear Psychosis, There are Good Days

 

    Dear Psychosis,

        There are so many good days! Do I struggle daily with symptoms? Of course I do, but I try my hardest to make the best of every day. I have learned that life goes on. I have done my share of self-wallowing. Not wanting to get out of bed, not showering, wasting the day away. Asking questions like "Why Me?" Depression has definitely gotten the best of me before. Most days my anxiety is crippling. I have to remind myself that life is worth living. That's when I remember the good things in my world. My family, my daughter, I wake up and get dressed, fix my hair and makeup. Because I don't want her making negative memories about me. Not just memories for her, but for my own memories too. 

    For a while I didn't think I would ever be happy again after being diagnosed with a disease that has such a stigma tied to it. Where is the sunshine in that? So some days it's the little things I try to find joy in such as seeing a sweet little squirrel on a tree outside my window, maybe a smile from a perfect stranger, or just the quiet (that last one means a lot for someone who has psychosis).

    I enjoy my village! I love getting together and playing games, watching movies, or maybe just grabbing dinner together. I may not be a hugger, but having the warmth of laughter and love from them means everything. I am only human, which means I need that human interaction. Don't get me wrong, some days it's hard to be around others, but I still have the craving to be social. It brings me joy to spend time with my family and friends. 

    Sometimes a good day is a day spent alone with no interaction at all. A day of music, podcasts, a good drive, maybe a small hike, listening/reading a good book, or maybe even blogging. I also enjoy doing different craft projects such as drawing, card making, making holiday decor, etc. Sometimes it's nice to distract my mind with a project. Having that alone time to get lost in something that I'm creating and not having my mind on the voices, shadows, or other symptoms that rear their ugly heads.

    Most days, the good in my day is getting up and sticking to a routine. I get up and shower, get dressed, do my makeup, put earrings on, pick out a spunky pair of glasses. When I stick to my routine, I feel like I'm ready to face the day. Like I can take on anything. Don't get me wrong, some days I'm lucky to shower. There is something about a little self-care that helps boost your mental health. I struggle with mental health and if there is something as simple as a routine to help shape my day in the best way it can go, please sign me up! My good days need some kind of structure even if it's simple, like having some kind of plan for my day. For example: Get up get ready, go to work, come home and read a book, pick up my daughter from school, and come home and cook dinner. Schedules / routines can be as vague or as complex as you would like. I just need something to help keep my day from going array.

    There is so much happiness in my life, I try not to let the cloudy days take it away. Clouds are constantly moving and the sun will eventually shine through. Smile a little more, laugh with that friend, and be blessed by the world around you.