Dear Psychosis, Do you really want to Understand?

 

Dear Psychosis,

Sometimes your silence is too much. 

There is no way to help someone if you keep your mouth shut.

There is no way to care for someone if you keep your mouth shut.

Don't get me wrong, silence has its time and place. In my experience, when people are silent it's because they are either processing their emotions or they are simply at a loss for words. I know that sometimes I feel that with my Psychosis, people almost handle my mental state from a distance. They state things like "I'm here for you, but I just don't get it," or they don't say anything at all. I also have some people ask what exactly it is I need from them. This is what I need: for them to have a deeper understanding. I want them to do the legwork and actually do some research to try and understand exactly what I'm going through. I want them to understand that I'm OK, but I'm going to have rough days. 

I have talked to so many people who just want understanding. Communication! I'll repeat myself so it's clear: communication is so, so important! I can't tell you how many times people will change the subject or look uncomfortable when the topic of mental health comes up.  Don't say you can "tell me all about what you're going through" and then act like that. Sometimes I also get treated with kids' gloves. Listen up! I see and hear things that could show up in your worst nightmares! You don't have to treat me like a child. I'm a grown-up. I can handle adult interactions.  

Do you really want to get it? Or do you just want to pretend that the person you love isn't struggling, that everything is always rainbows and butterflies. We can't pretend our children are perfect. That puts too much weight on their shoulders and they will fail every time. Why not give them what they want to help them cope when they need you the most.

Things you could ask when someone has psychosis, so you can have a better understanding:

"How are you doing today?"

"What are your bad days like?"

"If you want to share, I'm here to listen."

"If you want to share, I'm here to talk about your symptoms"

"Do you want me to remind you of reality vs. non-reality?"

"Do you need a break from people?"

"What are some resources I could use to better understand your symptoms?"

I get it. It can be hard dealing with people who have psychosis (especially someone who doesn't have a clear concept of reality at the moment).  Your feelings are valid too. This is why communication is key, because if you need understanding or a break you can feel free to state it. Psychosis can be scary for everyone involved. Always try to communicate though. Even if that means just explaining that you need to walk away for a bit. Try to stay calm - no one needs the added stress of yelling. This is all "easier said than done." All we can do is try hard and be kind every chance we get.